Most wives with cheating husbands simply suffer in silence or tolerate their husband’s infidelity because they feel they have no other alternatives, or don’t know what else to do.
“You don’t have to sit back and be a helpless victim,” says Ruth Houston, infidelity expert and author of Is He Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs. “The New Years resolutions below can help you make the best of a bad situation and minimize the damage infidelity can cause.”
Houston explains, “There are steps you can take to protect yourself emotionally, sexually, legally and financially. You can work quietly behind the scenes to offset many of the negative consequences that result from infidelity.”
“Start 2006 by taking control of the situation,” advises Houston. “Whether you stay with your husband or leave him, these New Year’s Resolutions will help you gain the upper hand.”
Ignoring your husband’s infidelity will not make it go away. It will only make things worse. He could become so attached to his mistress that it will be impossible to get your marriage back on track.
Let him know you know.
Affairs thrive in secrecy. Sometimes just letting him know his infidelity has been exposed will be enough to make him stop.
Speak up and take a stand.
If you know or have proof that he’s cheating and you say nothing about it, you're enabling his infidelity. Let him know you disapprove and want it to stop. Or he’ll think he has your silent approval or that you don’t know what’s going on.
Build a support team.
You need someone to confide in about your husband’s infidelity. Don’t try to get through this alone. Surround yourself with people who care about you and have your best interests at heart.
Identify the underlying issues.
What are the contributing factors to his infidelity? - A life crisis? Major character flaws? Sexual addiction? Dissatisfaction with you or with the marriage? Determine the root of the problem, if you can.
Realistically evaluate your situation.
Consider your options. Is there hope for the marriage? Is it worth saving? Should you separate or file for divorce? What is in your (and your children’s) best interest to do?
Seek counseling for yourself and for your marriage.
You have a better chance of saving your marriage if you get professional help. You’ll be better equipped to deal with the trauma of infidelity if you seek individual counseling, as well.
Protect yourself sexually.
Your husband’s infidelity can have life-threatening consequences for you. If he’s having unprotected sex, your health is at risk. Being a victim of infidelity is bad enough. Don’t become a victim of HIV/AIDS too.
Find out your legal rights.
Consult an attorney who specializes in matrimonial law. Get a clear understanding of what you're legally entitled to (alimony, child support, division of marital assets) in the event of a divorce or separation.
Get your finances in order.
Get a realistic view of your current financial situation and make the necessary adjustments. Establish credit in your own name. Set up a separate checking or savings account. Start putting money aside for a rainy day.
Equip yourself to earn a living.
Many women stay in adulterous relationships because they’re financially dependant on their husbands. If you need to, take college courses or start learning a trade to make yourself employable.
Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally.
Accept the possibility that your marriage may end. Don’t get caught off guard. Have an “Infidelity Game Plan” in place in case your husband decides to move out or ask for a divorce. Begin formulating your strategy now.
Wives with cheating husbands can find more ways empower themselves in Ruth Houston’s FREE infidelity report entitled “5 Things You Shouldn’t Do If He’s Cheating on You”. To receive a free copy, send an e-mail to: InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with "5 Things" in the subject line.
For 2006, resolve to focus your energy and efforts on the positive things you can do to make the best of a bad situation. Keep these New Year’s resolutions and you’ll gain the upper hand.