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Dear Webby
Rumors that his wife is cheating

Dear Webby,

I know this is a site for women, but my problem is with my wife. There was a rumor that my wife was sleeping with a "friend" of mine.

I asked her and she said they never even spoke. More into it she admits she had feelings (previously) for him (while we were together). She admits he went to her work three times a week to see and talk to each other.

She now says she wants me to forget it. She said they never did anything! WHAT DO I DO???!!!!!!! Please help

What to do?

Dear What,

There is no way Webby can tell you what to do without some more information.

For example, she said she had feelings for him while you were together. What does "while we were together" mean? Dating, committed or married? How long have you been together? Do you have children?

If Webby were you (and she is not) she would get the so-called friend and your wife together and get to the bottom of it. If they deny any wrongdoing and you believe them Webby would then confront the rumormongers and get to the bottom of that too. One thing Webby can suggest is that you find a new "friend".

Webby wonders about your wife's honesty and commitment to you if she openly met with this man 3 times a week to chat and didn't tell you until "more into it." Also if people are talking did she secretly want you to find out or is she stupid?

She wants you to forget it; that's easy for her to say. Relationships need to be built upon absolute trust and honesty. She has at least proven to be less than completely honest with you so you will probably not trust her completely in the future. That's not a strong foundation for a solid relationship.

If you decide to forgive her, Webby suggests you both find out what is troubling your marriage. Is she willing to work at it with you and a professional? Be firm that this is a big threat to your marriage and future together.

Webby is assuming, of course, that you never cheated on her and that you are as pure as the driven snow.

Good luck to both of you


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