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Dear Webby
Spring Broken

Dear Webby,

I am so mad at my parents. My friends are going to Daytona for spring break and my parents outright refuse to let me go. No discussion just plain "no"!

I am ashamed to admit to my friends that the 'rents still treat me like an irresponsible baby. I don't want to be mocked but I don't want them to dis my parents because I know they are doing what they think is best for me (but they are wrong!).

How can I keep face?

Spring Broken

Dear Spring,

Webby is grateful that you are not asking her to try and convince your parents to let you go to Florida. You didn't give your age (a lady never tells, does she?) but Webby wonders if perhaps you secretly agree that Spring Break is not in your best interest at this time. Webby would have preferred that your parents and you could sit down and discuss the pros and cons but this does not seem to be the case.

Your problem seems to be how to handle your friends. Over the years, Webby has learned that frequently the less said the better. Don't come up with outlandish excuses why you won't be participating and don't pretend that you're not interested in going. They will see through that.

Be honest, yet vague. They are going to want, and they deserve if they are your friends, some explanation. Make it short, sweet and final. And don't torture yourself. When they are discussing the trip plans, find something else to do: "since this doesn't involve me, I'll excuse myself'.

Webby might say "there is a family event that week and my parents think I should go, and actually I do too." When they ask what's so important that you have to miss the trip, explain that actually seeing them is very important "at this time." "I hope there will be other chances to go to Florida. Not that I don't envy you. I know you will have a great time! Have a swim for me".

Don't go into a lot of detail. You don't actually owe anyone an explanation but they are your friends and they do want your company so be nice.

Don't be surprised if there are other cancellations as the trip gets closer. But don't wait! Tell them now. It's only fair to the group and you can stop worrying about it. Should some others cancel (as the time gets closer this often happens) you don't want it to look like you're jumping on the bandwagon. Be self-confident enough to be honest with your friends.

Remember the less elaborate and the less said the better. You don't have to tell even your best friend that your parents said no. That's Webby's and your secret.

By the way you sound like a great gal with great parents. Congratulations.


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