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Go Out And Love Something or Someone!
by Mary Foley

Imagine its December 2005. You've traveled another revolution around the sun and you're getting ready for the holidays. What's your year been like?

Did you accomplish what you set out to achieve? Are you personally satisfied that you were outrageously in charge of your life and lovin' it? Do you feel bodacious?

I'm hoping you're charged about a new year with all its possibilities. It's a wonderful opportunity to wipe the decks clean and start fresh! Like me, you might even start dancing!

This time of year you hear a lot of talk about goals. Make goals. Post goals. Follow your goals. Goals, goals, goals, it all sounds so disciplined and draining.

Don't get me wrong, I love achieving things that are important to me. I couldn't have gotten this far in life without it them. So, perhaps it's I'm getting older, but I need a new perspective for 2005 about setting goals and achieving them goals that doesn't make me tired already.

So, I thought to myself, "Mary, when do you move into action without thinking of is as work, when you're so motivated you just do it?" Ah, that's easy. When I really love what I'm doing and am having fun!

Then I read this by neurologist Donald Calne:

"The essential difference between emotion and reason is that emotion leads to ACTION while reason leads to conclusions."

A brain doctor is saying that the thing that motivates us to action is emotion! Not a list of intellectual reasons why we should get off our duff.

Mary's translation: LOVE and FUN must be well baked into creating and accomplishing my goals if I want to get them done!

With that perspective, I determined what GOALS really stands for:

Something or Someone!

That's right, LOVE!! Achieving stuff isn't worth your time and energy if you're not passionate about it.

We desperately need to get excited again about our careers, our businesses, and our lives. If you're not, forget any other goals; they really don't matter. Figure out what it is that you really care enough about to get up in the morning.

With that lovin' feeling, here are 4 ways to make this whole goal thing work for you:


Everyone I know, I mean EVERYONE I know, is turning one year older this year (including me with the big 4-0!). So, I say dream BIG, allow yourself to imagine what you'd really like to be true about your life. Because one day time's up and you can't dream at all.

Why the heck not dream big? If not now, when? If not you, who? What other rhetorical question do you need? As women we constantly hear that small is beautiful. Forgetaboutit! BIG is BEST!


For example, if your goal is to "lose weight", phrase it another way that's positive, fun and memorable. Try "become a sultry goddess" or "be a calendar girl." How can you not grin when you say those words?! You're already getting your smile into shape!

Even business goals can be put into fun terms if you allow yourself to loosen up and play a little. One of my goals this year is to continue to expose more women to the Bodacious Way and have 10,000 women receiving this eNewsletter. (We came a good ways in doing that last year, but aren't quite there yet. You can help me by telling a friend! See below.}

So, you know how I've phrased this goal? More Cleavage! Get it, more exposure. I laugh every time I say it! And, believe me, I'm not forgetting it!


Ok, you've heard this a bazillion times. The fact is when you write something down your brain registers it. To make goals stick even more I suggest that you ADD IMAGES to your words because that's what the brains remember even better.

One of my goals is to let more of my fun-loving nature come out in how I write and speak so I posted in my office a photo of me dancing with the simple word "FUN!" written on it. In a split second, this image reminds me to of my goal.


The one big problem with goals is that they can easily be a setup for feeling like a failure. You dreamed big and wrote down fun, easy to remember goals, but if you don't see yourself achieving them you're more bummed than if you didn't set any goals at all!

My solution: We need to set goals and focus our efforts, but we also need not be rigidly attached to them. This ain't easy, but to me it's realistic, especially with all the change that's swirling around our lives. We need to learn to thrive on shift and change.

Keeping our goals alive and thriving means being constantly clear on what you're trying to achieve and why. As you're doing actions to fulfill your goals, be alert and open to what's happening in and around you.

Proactively consider if you need to modify your activity to achieve your goal. Be open to new, better ways to get from Point A to Point B. You may even realize in the process that the goal itself needs to be changed. If so, you're not a failure. The first goal was simply a way to get you to the new goal. You may not have realized that otherwise.

Mary Foley writes ClevendWomen.com's column "Your Bodacious Career" and is author of the book "Bodacious! Career: Outrageous Success for Working Women."

For more ideas and inspiration to live bodaciously check, including her free e-book "10 Bodacious Ways for a Bodacious Career", check out www.gobodacious.com

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