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Why it's great to be a Woman

  • We got off the Titanic first.

  • We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

  • We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

  • When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous, when men buy a blow up doll it's pathetic.

  • Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in ours.

  • We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

  • We can cry and get off speeding fines.

  • We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

  • Taxis stop for us.

  • Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

  • We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

  • Free drinks. Free dinners. Free movies (you get the point).

  • We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

  • We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

  • New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

  • Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.

  • It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

  • No fashion faux pas we make could rival The Speedo.

  • If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

  • We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her ass.

  • We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

  • If we're dumb, some people will actually find it cute.

  • We have the ability to dress ourselves.

  • We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

  • If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

  • Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

  • There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

  • Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.

  • We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.



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