Women's Quotes

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. - Dolly Parton

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. - Rita Rudner

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

I've been on so many blind dates; I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing 'em. - Sue Grafton

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. - Roseanne Barr

I think, therefore I'm single. - Lizz Winstead

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli

Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. - Baroness Edith Summerskill

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor