Elizabeth vs.
The Serial Rapist Email

We all get those emails - why we shouldn't wear deodorant for fear of losing our minds or memories, the man in the white van and how to twirl in the parking lot to spot him and finally the serial rapist.

My mother is a wonderful woman, she truly is. Protecting us children from all harm, even if it meant leaving the closet light on or reading an extra story of how the bad guy can be stopped with a ball of string and some ingenuity.

She kept us safe as children, but come on now - I'm 28 years old!! She sends me these emails with a follow-up phone call about their importance in keeping us from harm's wake.

Emails like how the big chief police man wants all the women to know about the baby snatcher. I mean I know myself pretty well and I don't have any kids, but I still get the email/ phone call just the same.

Or the one about Microsoft giving money away as a ruse to find out were young women live so that they can find and kill them at night. I know Microsoft is having qualms about sending an email with free money attached, but they ain't the killin' type.

But I know my mom means well, and she is so short (4'11'') and so sweet that you can't just say "stop it I'm 28." So I must resort to passive aggressive behaviors. Why - because they are fun and funny!! Hee hee!

Here is an email that you all probably got, or will soon get:

Subject: FW: Know what money you are carrying

Please be safe...kisses to our babies...love to all...Mom/Cheryl

Forwarded: My dad, a retired police officer, sent it to me, and I think it's good to think about.

This was the first I have heard of a scheme like this..... I wanted to pass it along. Be safe! Something very serious to pay attention to. Criminals are coming up with craftier, less threatening methods of attack, so we have to be extra cautious. Read on...

I live in Alexandria, VA, but I often work in Lafayette, LA, staying with friends when I'm there. As you know from America's Most Wanted TV program, as well as the news media, there is a serial killer in the Lafayette area. I just want to let you know about an "incident" that happened to me a few weeks ago, and could have been deadly.

At first I didn't go to the police or anyone with it because I didn't realize how serious this encounter was. But since I work in a jail and I told a few people about it, it wasn't long before I was paraded into Internal Affairs to tell them my story.

It was approximately 5:15 a.m. in Opelousas, La. I had stayed with a friend there and was on my way to work. I stopped at the Exxon/Blimpie Pie station to get gas. I got $10 gas and a Diet Coke. I took into the store two $5 bills and one $1 bill (just enough to get my stuff).

As I pulled away from the store, a man approached my truck from the back side of the store (an unlit area). He was an "approachable-looking" man (clean cut, clean shaven, dressed well, etc.). He walked up to m y window and knocked. Since I'm very paranoid and "always looking for the rapist or killer," I didn't open the window ... I just asked what he wanted. He raised a $5 bill to my window and said, "You dropped this."

Since I knew I had gone into the store with a certain amount of money, I knew I didn't drop it. When I told him it wasn't mine, he began hitting the window and door, screaming at me to open my door, and insisting that I had dropped the money!

At that point, I just drove away as fast as I could. After talking to the Internal Affairs Department and describing the man I saw, and the way he escalated from calm and polite to angry and volatile....it was determined that I could have possibly encountered the serial killer myself.

Up to this point, it had been unclear as to how he had gained access to his victims, since there has been no evidence of forced entry into victim's homes, cars, etc. And the fact that he has been attacking in the daytime, when women are less likely to have their guard up, means he is pretty BOLD.

So think about it...what gesture is nicer than returning money to someone that dropped it????? How many times would you have opened your window (or door) to get your money and say thank you.... because if the person is kind enough to return something to you, then he can't really be a threat....can he????

Please be cautious! This might not have been the serial killer...but anyone that gets that angry over someone not accepting money from them, can't have honorable intentions. The most important thing to note is that his reaction was NOT WHAT I EXPECTED! A total surprise! But what might have happened if I had opened my door? I shudder to think!

Forward this to everyone you know....maybe they can be as fortunate as I was!

P.S. from the Sender: Ladies, really DO forward this to EVERYONE you know. Even if this man wasn't a serial killer, he looked nice, he seemed polite, he was apparently doing an act of kindness, but HE WAS NOT A NICE PERSON!!!

What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. Make it a good one.

Now, the normal person would let this go, pop it in the box of over-protectiveness and slip it quietly under the bed. But this is me we are talking about!

I could have also done what I always do otherwise, like researched the internet for the usual SPAM or HOAX indicator, but not today. No. I could have also let it go for the good that it will probably do - I mean, we all should be extra vigilant especially at gas stations.

But…..this was just too good of an email to pass up. I thought about what I would do if confronted with the appealing 5 dollars and the alarming prospect of trying not to get killed (both equally high on my to-do list). Here is what I wrote back to everyone on the distribution list:

Oooooo - but 5 bucks is a lot of money for me. If I was in that situation this is what I would do in 4 easy steps. [ahem]

1. Turn off car. Since my mace thingie is on my car keys, I would have to turn off my car.

2. Roll down my window just a crack and spray the guy with mace in ANTICIPATION of getting raped and/or killed. Besides, I am sure the police won't mind that I may have sprayed an unassuming gas station attendant with mace especially if I read them the above email.

3. Grab the 5 bucks and check his pockets for any other money and loose change. And I am sure the police won't mind me doing this either - since in my mind I am ridding the world of a would-be serial killer and/or rapist of his (or even her) means of attracting victims.... And I would show them the above email in my defense if the police say that it was really a gas attendant trying to be nice.

4. In fact - I think I am just going to wander around spraying people with mace and taking five dollars (or any other money - higher the denomination the better, woo whoo!!) - er, I mean, I will be helping society by eliminating the possible threat of serial killing since I will eventually one day actually mace the right guy (or girl).

Yep. This is what I am going to do. Thank you, thank you for this email!!!
-Elizabeth

Needless to say I didn't get that follow-up phone call.

Now that reminds me of another story!