Dear Webby,
I am desperate and don't know what to do. After 23 yrs together and 14 years of marriage I don't love my husband anymore. I want out so bad and every day I wake up I am more depressed.
Several years ago I found out my husband fathered 3 children by the same woman, plus I found out he was paying child support for another 10 years prior to this.
I don't want to do anything in the house because I don't care. Between the 2 episodes he had a kidney removed from cancer and I guess he also has prostate cancer.
I am 53 years old and have lost 103 pounds and want to be the new me. I have been traveling a few places and I get so much attention from others, which makes me feel so good about myself.
I am not looking for another relationship after this but I desperately need to get out of this one. I am so sad every day. Please advise what to do which way to go!
Wants Out
Dear Wants,
Your email is very confusing to Webby, and she really wishes there was more information.
Do you have children? You say you have been together for 23 years. Were you married when he had the affairs? Had you wrote Webby at that time she would have suggested you run like the wind.
However, you choose to stay with him for nine years and then marry him. You are not complaining about any recent affairs.
Webby is uncomfortable with the idea that now that he is ill and you have lost weight
you want out of the marriage. Was he supportive of you when you were 103 pounds heavier? She also is at a loss when you say "you guess" he has prostrate cancer.
What do you mean "you guess"? Are you on speaking terms? Are you at all supportive of
him?
Congratulations on the weight loss and the discipline it must have taken. Webby is glad
that your self esteem is raising and hope you find many new interests.
You are enjoying flattery from others but where were these people when you were 103 pounds heavier? Where will they be should you (hopefully not) gain some back?
Attention is easy to come by when there are no strings attached.
Webby feels something just doesn't sit right. You were supportive when he certainly didn't deserve it. She feels that now you are trying to find excuses to leave a sick man after 23 years because you are enjoying a new found you. She hopes there are no young children involved.
Webby also wishes you both well and hopes you think long and hard about ways to enjoy your life and hopefully not lose something that has been very important to you for 23 years.
Webby
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