Dear Webby,
3 women and I travel to antique shows, gambling casinos and short overnight trips. I do the driving. I never minded. However the price of gas has gotten too expensive for me to do it alone.
Sometimes my closest friend has either bought me lunch or offered to pay but the other two say nothing. It really bugs me when I hear them say how little the trip cost them.
How can I get them to chip in? I am shy about asking and don't want to offend anyone. I know they can afford it or I wouldn't even think about asking for help.
Pain in the Gas
Dear Pain,
The deal should have been made when you first started to drive: Whoever drives, the others should pay for the gas. Or if you want it could be a four way split.
Here are a few ideas on how Webby would handle it. The best way is to be honest. As you know, honesty is the best policy. Tell them upfront that the price of gas has gotten too expensive for you to pay for it alone (don't feel uncomfortable - they are the ones that should be).
Or, you could have an almost empty tank and stop for gas at the beginning of the trip. Give a big WOW when you get the bill say "this has to be the last trip because it is getting too expensive for me unless you gals want to chip in."
Would it be easier, my shy friend, for you to ask your close friend to suggest to the others that everyone share the expense? Do any of the others drive? If so maybe you could suggest taking turns driving.
When one person does all the driving or entertaining - for whatever reason - the rest of the group should and must step up and find ways to equal things out.
This is not only fair but also the proper, cultured thing to do. Sometimes the shy and kind are taken advantage of by the moochers (Not to say your friends are moochers. They might just be naive or perhaps you have given the impression that you want to treat).
Either way take a deep breath, straighten up and get your backbone back. And enjoy your excursions.
Webby
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