Dear Webby,
Urgent! I need advice fast!
My daughter is going to her high school prom with a boy whom I have only met a few times for a few minutes. He seems very nice.
After the prom a large group are going to a late dinner, and then back to her girl friend's home for an all night party. We know the parents and are comfortable with the situation.
Her date wants them to stay a short while and then move on to a party at his friend's home. We do not know his friends or their parents.
My husband is furious and does not want them "traveling around all night." She is upset, my husband is upset and I just wish it were all over.
Wish it was Over
Dear Wish,
You have to do some homework. Ask around about (let's call him Adam) Adam and his friends. Are they active at school? What is their reputation?
If none of your daughters
friends know them or about them call a teacher. But why haven't you heard of them
the last four years?
Whose house is it? Call the parents. Offer to help chaperone that evening with them. They will be awake and visible won't they?
They also realize that there can be no drinking under the law and that if there is, they are in big trouble. How many kids are they expecting?
Get all the information you can, in a tactful charming way (only concerned about your daughter). Be friendly but no nonsense.
Armed with the information talk with your husband and daughter. The decision should be much easier with all the information, which Webby doesn't have.
Webby thinks it's the second party which, as of now, you know nothing about rather than the traveling around all night that is bugging your husband and Webby as well. Reminding him that he was once "Adam" might help or hurt the case.
Stress that even innocent traveling that night can be dangerous. Your daughter and her date know not to drink and drive (don't they?), but they have to be careful on the roads because of others that do.
Many after-parties are now held at hotels. Aren't you glad that your daughter will be going to a house where, hopefully, you can preview the situation rather than a hotel room?
A prom is very important to many young people and it would be a shame for your daughter to have to forgo some of the parties. But in the large scheme of things her
safety must come first. Someday she will realize this when she writes to Dear Webby about her daughter.
Be prepared with a good book or movie for the longest night of your life - so far. Be assured there will be more to come.
Webby
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