Lumpy Girl Claire's Diet
- Across the Great Divide

I must be losing some inches from my backside because my panties have started riding up. If it was just one pair, I would blame it on failed elastic, but it seems to be happening with all of them.

I checked to make sure I didn't have them on backwards, but that wasn't the problem. They look right when I put them on, but then a short walk across the room and they turn into a thong.

I am not a fan of the thong. Thongs intentionally go places where I prefer them not to be. I suppose it would be okay if I were the kind of gal who had no behind to speak of, but for a girl with a booty like mine, the fabric gets pinched between the cheeks and that's just not a pleasant feeling.

It's like getting something stuck in your teeth - you have to keep picking at it until you get it out of there. Not something you want to do at work!

For the last few years, I have been a fan of the boy short. What a genius invention! They come in low rise but give full coverage. They are sassy without being too revealing.

The kind of underwear your mother wouldn't be embarrassed folding; yet men find intriguing while perusing Victoria's Secret catalogs.

In fear that a strong breeze might blow my skirt up and reveal my cheeky attitude, I headed off to buy new panties in a smaller size. How exciting is that? I don't remember the last time that happened!

Alas, I'm still having the same problem-two steps and they are creeping up. There has been some progress, I guess, because they are only turning into Daisy Dukes instead of a full-fledged thong. Still, it's uncomfortable and I need to try again.

Polling my friends who have a similar butt configuration to my own, I got some suggestions for future non-ride-up purchases. Clearly some guidance was needed.

Thankfully, I have friends who will share important information like this. After all, it's not like you can try panties on before you buy them and they certainly aren't inexpensive.

I'm hoping that at least one of the recommendations works for me. Until I can get to the store to find out, I'm doing the best that I can to keep things from getting worse.

I'm not wearing full skirts, I'm avoiding windy areas, and I'm trying not to pick in public.

I had better plan that shopping trip soon!

Claire