Lumpy Girl and Skinny Girl
Meet Slacker Girl

Steph from Columbus wrote in and asked if I had been successful in my search for alternative forms of exercise and new good foods to eat.

I'd like to report that I am now swing dancing on a regular basis, I've biked to Akron and back, and I strength train with free weights three times a week.

Yeah, I'd like to report that, but it would be as honest as all the men in personal ads who say that they workout regularly and like to read.

In reality, the only new kind of exercise I've been working on is my technique for lifting and carrying all the bags of groceries from the store to my car because Heinen's won't let me take a cart into the parking lot. Hey, this is an important skill!

It takes a good eye to determine in advance the maximum amount of groceries you'll be able to carry in one trip without dropping or smashing anything and still be able to get in your car - without putting anything down.

Here's my advice: Don't spend more than $50, don't buy more than two cans of anything, and watermelon is easier to transport if you get it already cut out of the rind. Also remember that milk is heavy!

It's not that I don't want to find and try something fun and exciting. The problem is that I just don't have the time or energy to come up with anything new.

There are lots of things I want to try: rock wall climbing, salsa dancing, tennis, but they all take planning and forethought, two areas in which I'm lacking.

On the other hand, walking is easy. I don't need special equipment. I don't need to join anything or make any special plans. I can do it any time I want for as long as I want.

So I walk.

Walking is my wind down time. My workday is done; my chores are finished (or as finished as they are going to be). It's how I end my day.

If I'm feeling bad, walking is my time to let it out. I don my sunglasses so that no one can see me cry and I pound the pavement until I'm feeling better. Most days this works. Some days it doesn't but at least afterwards I'm tired enough to sleep.

I have two walking routes. One that's 45 minutes and a 30-minute short cut for days I'm just not up to the longer walk. I grab a bottle of water, my cell phone (for emergencies) and I set off.

I walk in a mostly residential area, but there are a few businesses. I pass a convenience store that I will sometimes stop in for another bottle of water. A bar that I haven't felt compelled to stop in yet. A grocery store, a bank, a pizza place and a frozen custard stand.

I have to admit that the urge to stop for a pizza and a sundae is pretty powerful, but so far I have resisted them as well.

I also pass a couple of churches, one of which has on its roof a large cross with a circle like the Celtic crosses. To me it looks like the sight on a gun. It makes me feel like God has me in the crosshairs. So far he hasn't taken me out, so I consider that a good sign.

I always talk to God when I get to this point. I think I get better reception than I do at home, like a Church is some sort of radio transmitter. The further you are away, the weaker the signal.

I use this time to tell Him what's bothering me, ask for advice, and say thanks for the good things in my life. I wave goodbye and I'm off towards home.

Maybe in the fall when I'm not as busy and the weather gets too crummy for walking I'll add some new kind of exercise to my routine. Perhaps I can put on my dancing shoes and shake, shake, shake my booty. For now, though, I'm content to walk.

As far as finding new "good" foods, I'm afraid I'm a lazybones there as well. The only thing that comes to mind is that I make that yogurt dessert with chocolate pudding and leave out the pineapple. It tastes like mousse, gives me a chocolate fix, and involves no cooking whatsoever.

I guess along with Lumpy Girl and Skinny Girl, there is Slacker Girl yet to attend to.

Here's my usual diet:

Shredded Wheat for breakfast - oatmeal if Slacker Girl didn't go to the store for milk

Salad for lunch from any local establishment - sometimes Wendy's chili instead

Roasted or grilled chicken and veggies for supper

Snacks are fat-free popcorn, hard-boiled eggs, fruit, sugar-free Popsicles, and the yogurt dessert

Not much exciting about that either, is there? All I can say is that it's easy to remember and takes the minimum amount of pre-thought from me. Sorry, I'm a lousy diet role model.

I'm really going to have to start working on that Slacker Girl.

Claire