Claire Thinking
Have you Herd of Whales?

A strange thing happened the other day. I tried on pajamas and the bottoms fit but the top was too small. That has never happened in the history of my pajama wearing.

I'm the pear shaped girl - at least I used to be. Somehow my breasts have overtaken my hips and my whole body shape has changed.

Usually the girls with the large breasts have skinny legs, but that's probably too much to ask. I don't remember ever having skinny legs. Even in pictures of me as a little girl I had the gams.

Did you know that gam has more than one meaning? Other than being slang for a leg, it can also mean a herd of whales. Enough said.

It's usually quite a challenge to find pants that fit. By the time I get something that will go over my butt and thighs, it is too baggy around the waist. This is big trouble when it comes to the new low-rise styles. Those are stand up only; never bend over or sit down or your backside will just spill out. Not a good look for someone with a backside the size of mine.

Lately my waistline has been catching up to the rest of me. My pants fit me better now, but I can't say I'm particularly happy about it. When I complained to a friend about this latest development, she said that when I gained weight, I did it proportionally instead of all in one place so I still looked OK. I'm not sure, but I think she was telling me that I'm fat all over.

I have to say that I am happy that it's sandal season and I don't have to wear pantyhose or tights for the next few months. Is there anyone alive who can follow the weight/size chart on the back of the packages?

Sure the recommended size covers me. The legs come up to mid-thigh and then the panty part covers the rest while the waistband forms a tourniquet just under my ribs.

I guess they expect all my weight to be in my upper arms and neck area. The only thing I've found that works is to buy the largest size I can find, adjust the extra leg length as I pull them up and then clip the waistband to allow for breathing and blood flow. Bare legs are much easier and much more comfortable.

Sandal season means it's time to bare everything else too. Have you shopped for summer clothing lately? I don't think they make anything with a sleeve anymore. All those camisoles and tanks are cute, but please give me something to put on over them - preferably with a three-quarter-length sleeve.

Most people don't have Paris Hilton arms. We don't look good in cap sleeves. And there's just no good reason to subject the general public to our pudgy arm flaps.

I'd like to think that a lot of these issues would disappear as I lose the weight, but I have a feeling that some are here to stay. My body type is my body type. I'll be dealing with the same frustrations, just in smaller sizes.

I know that doesn't solve my figure flaws, but it does make them easier to live with.

Claire