Claire Thinking
Heavy Thoughts

Is it possible to have reverse body dismorphic disorder? I swear that when I look in the mirror, I look good. Lumpy Girl must be using Jedi mind tricks to alter my vision and keep me from dieting.

I had my official weigh-in today and I'm officially fat. To get back into the range for my height (and by get into the range, I'm talking the uppermost weight for my height and age) I need to lose 45 pounds.

45 pounds! That's a small child, or a medium sized dog. I looked and neither was on the scale with me so I have to accept the fact that I am fat.

Even worse, for someone my height, being 45 pounds overweight moves me into the higher health risk zone of being obese. Obese! Oh, Lumpy Girl, what have we done?

I don't want to be obese. I don't want to have the increased risk of high blood pressure, diabetes or breast cancer. I don't want to spend the whole summer in capris and three-quarter sleeve tops. I want to be as healthy as I can and I want to wear shorts and sleeveless tops and maybe even a swimsuit.

That means I need a plan.

I already know the basics of what I have to do. Exercise more and eat less. Why is it always that the things you like the most you need to do less of and the things you like the least you have to do more?

In a perfect world, at least in MY perfect world, cheeseburgers would be health food and metabolisms would naturally run high.

Since I can't live in my own perfect little world, I'm just going to have to suck it up and do things following conventional wisdom. I'm right with Lumpy Girl in my distaste for that. We definitely prefer our own path.

I guess it would be a bad thing if the laws of nature didn't apply to everyone, but like Bugs Bunny, I never studied law. (High Diving Hare, 1949 - a great cartoon!) It will be all right though because I can still add the Claire Flair to whatever I do.

Today begins my journey towards the thin girl that's hiding somewhere under all this flesh. I'm sure she'll be glad to get out again.

She's going to need plenty of sunblock because she hasn't seen the light of day in quite some time. I know I'll be happy to see her.

My goals for this week:

• Pick an eating plan and get started with it.
• Walk every day.
• Have some fun.

Claire