Lumpy Girl
Week 1

I feel I should start with one of those "results not typical" disclaimers. Believe me; I've been trying the same diet plan for the last two months with the results that I weighed two pounds more than when I started. It appears that the fear of public humiliation is a good diet motivator.

I started the week with a good day. I stuck to the diet and walked for 35 minutes. It was on the high from that experience that I headed off the next day for a family picnic. I was resolved to enjoy myself but to eat light. It wasn't an impossible task. I planned ahead and felt ready.

My Dad has abdicated his grilling duties since turning 80 and for some reason I was tapped to carry on. Really, if he didn't want to grill, he should have had sons.

Was I not raised to believe that shoveling snow, mowing the lawn, squishing spiders and cooking on the grill were a man's work? It's kind of late now to be changing his mind.

I can understand why he wanted to give it up. It's not a pleasant task to grill enough food for a ravenous crowd of more than 20. Of course, the size of this family can be directly linked back to him so it's not like he can be blaming anyone else for that. Being the youngest child, I can't be complaining too much about that either.

Why is it that no one wants to help cook, but everyone has an opinion on the best way to do it? Until I see someone with spatula in hand, ready to help, all those suggestions are falling on deaf ears. If I have to spend the rest of the day smelling of charred meat, I'm doing it my way.

It was somewhere mid-grill when hovering slackers, family gossips, and too much sun got the better of me and I trashed the diet in favor of a plump, juicy, sizzling hot dog straight off the grill.

That wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't followed it with a cheeseburger, potato salad, chocolate cake, baked beans, macaroni salad, chocolate cake, taco dip, chicken, corn casserole, chocolate cake…you get the idea. There went all my good work from the day before. I was bummed, bloated, and back to square one.

On the drive home, however, I had a revelation of sorts. It was one of those light bulb going on over the head kind of moments. It was so true and so simple that I don't know why it took me so long to figure it out. Apparently I am not just thick waisted, I am thick headed as well.

What I finally figured out was that I am the reason I'm fat.

Now that may not seem much of a surprise to you, but believe me, it was the first time I looked at it that way. Up until then I was the victim. I played a good diet martyr, always lamenting my fate, possibly while devouring curly fries, but never really willing to work on a solution.

I chose to eat the food I shouldn't. I chose not to exercise enough. Sure there were other factors that contributed, but at the end of the day, it was my choice. I am Lumpy girl.

After this realization, the rest of the week was a breeze. I think I had to shed those mental pounds before I could work on the physical ones.

I had no trouble staying on my diet and I walked daily with the result that at my weekly weigh in I had lost a total of (drum roll please)…4.2 pounds!

4.2 pounds! I've never lost that much in one week. That's about 17 sticks of butter banished from my body. Lumpy girl has started to melt away.

It would be fantastic if I could keep up that kind of weight loss, but I know that it's best to lose 1 to 2 pounds per week. It's a great start though and I'm optimistic about meeting my final goal, hopefully by the end of the year.

My New Years resolution for 2005 was to not have to make another weight loss resolution in 2006. I think that's actually going to come true. Can you imagine?

Handy Tip:

Skirts are cooler and cover more than shorts so they are one of my favorite things to wear in the summer. The only problem is that there is no fabric between your thighs to prevent them from chafing. That damp skin sticks together like cling wrap and you can't peel it apart without striking some unladylike poses.

Walking is a challenge. Either you let the skin peel and stick as you walk, leaving sore red welts, or you just leave it where it has adhered and take smaller steps.

Here's a better solution: Try applying some antiperspirant to the inside of your thighs. They will glide past each other with ease and you won't have to worry about anyone catching you making those thigh loosening Sharon Stone maneuvers.

Does anyone have any suggestions for exercise when it's so hot out? I need a good alternative when I can't get out and walk because of the heat. Thanks!

My goals for week 2:

• Plan ahead! I realized this week that I hadn't planned what I was going to eat beyond my weigh-in. That can be dangerous.
• Keep going with what I'm doing - it's working.
• Drink more water.

Claire