Dorky Gizzardsniffer
and other fun new names

The following is excerpted from the book Captain Underpants And The Preposterous Plight Of The Purple Potty People by Dav Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names.

Step 1 Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

A = snickle

B = doombah

C = goober

D = cheesey

E = crusty

F = greasy

G = dumbo

H = farcus

I = dorky

J = doofus

K = funky

L = boobie

M = sleezy

N = sloopy

O = fluffy

P = stinky

Q = slimy

R = dorfus

S = snooty

T = tootsie

U = dipsy

V = sneezy

W = liver

X = skippy

Y = dinky

Z = zippy

Step 2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

A = dippin

B = feather

C = batty

D = burger

E = chicken

F = barffy

G = lizard

H = waffle

I = farkle

J = monkey

K = flippin

L = fricken

M = bubble

N = rhino

O = potty

P = hamster

Q = buckle

R = gizzard

S = lickin

T = snickle

U = chuckle

V = pickle

W = Hubble

X = dingle

Y = gorilla

Z = girdle

Step 3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

A = butt

B = boob

C = face

D = nose

E = hump

F = breath

G = pants

H = shorts

I = lips

J = honker

K = head

L = tush

M = chunks

N = dunkin

O = brains

P = biscuits

Q = toes

R = doodle

S = fanny

T = sniffer

U = sprinkles

V = frack

W = squirt

X = humperdinck

Y = hiney

Z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny.

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